My Fear Share

It’s Friday. Today I’m due the second COVID test and my understanding is that afterwards I am no longer allowed outside, so that there is zero risk of contamination before my release. I get that, but oddly I have also received today’s exercise scheduled which indicates our intake are allowed outside three times today, with the last of these being after dinnertime. I’m confused but not surprised anymore.

I woke up this morning after a really good sleep and freshen myself up. Breakfast is waiting for me when done. It’s the ham, cheese and lettuce croissant again as I predicted because of the repetition of last week’s menu. Morning tea consists of mandarins and a carrot and almond muffin banana.

The menu for lunch and dinner is here too. I’m having spiced lamb with tabbouleh in pita bread for lunch and dinner is butter chicken etc. Last’s night’s fish did not attack me so I’m relieved by that.  

I had a nice chat with Maree on the phone yesterday and hopefully her ankle improves quickly, and the messages that I am getting from some of you certainly help in getting through to the end.

I’ve now had my Day 12 COVID test and the good news is that we are allowed to keep going outside as scheduled for exercise. Apparently the original restrictions were imposed because of poor processes being managed in some of the Auckland facilities and the rules therefore trickled down to other centres, who were doing a better job overall. The rules have been reviewed and were changed back again only last week – I’m still allowed out which is great news!

So I want to talk about the exercise (when I say talk I really mean rant).There are approximately 20 people in our intake (arrival 14/3) and all but two of them understand social distancing or common sense when we are outside for exercise. Now I have no issue with anyone who walks faster or slower than me, I don’t care. I celebrate the shared interest we have in wanting to be outside and moving, however just quietly some don’t look like they are regulars in physical activity. We are only here because we have to be and we’ve all come from different backgrounds but these two seem to take the cake. There is a guy who has no concept of social distancing and a woman who wants to walk in the opposite direction to everyone else, and wants to stop and stretch right in the heavy traffic areas.  

Firstly the guy. He is extremely large in both height and width and would make a good prop but his fitness would have him lasting only 10 minutes max. If you are using the stairs (normally a 15-20 second process) it isn’t possible to share the space because they are only about 1 metre wide, but his moron seems to not care and will not wait for his turn. He will just use them at the same time but there is just not enough space. It’s not my nature to cause trouble, so I have just avoided using the stairs if he is anywhere near.

Now the woman. I question her mental health. I have to. Picture driving on a four lane highway and you’re on an oval clockwise circuit. Being two lanes in each direction there is no issue with faster cars going past slower ones and usually overtaking is on the right. It works for 95% of us. Now imagine a car driving anti-clockwise and is heading towards you some of the time. What do you do? Now add in a feature like an on/off ramp that connects to another similar circuit. This car now decides to stop on the on ramp therefore no safe way for any other car to pass. This woman is unbelievable.

Like I said – it’s a good thing I don’t cause trouble…

It’s Thursday morning and I’ve woken early 5am. Disappointed with how the past 48hrs has gone I need to find my mojo and make the most of my ‘freedom’ which I expect will only last until late tomorrow morning. At that time on Friday I will be given my Day 12 COVID test and the rules say that you must not leave your room from that time onwards until I am cleared to leave on Sunday afternoon to avoid cross contamination with newbies at the facility. It is what it is, but does make yesterday’s farce all the more annoying.

I had a nice chat with Rob on the phone this morning while still in bed and we planned what the pickup on Sunday would look like. I’m so looking forward to being home.

I clean myself up and breakfast is waiting for me when done. It’s muesli and fruit and morning tea consists of an apple banana and a pastry.

The menu for lunch and dinner is here too. I’m having buttermilk fried chicken, with mash, gravy and salad for lunch and dinner consists of panned fried market fish and salad. I’m worried because I generally think it was the same fish dinner that made me crook on Sunday night…what to do what to do?

I’m due my normal health check this morning and/or wellbeing check but I’m thinking some people may be a bit gun shy towards me now. I made my complaint to MBIE last night but this morning I sent another email to the person in charge here telling him that his response only “noted my concerns” but did not actually offer any explanation as to what went wrong regarding both the failings of the health team and the lack of communication from the wellbeing team. I told him I was due the courtesy of an explanation.

On a more positive note the first session on today’s exercise schedule is 10.40am for an hour. I’ve just got to keep looking for these positives…

As I alluded to in an earlier post with a similar title the experience here has turned from being quite manageable to being a real concern about organisational skills and communication.

I was considered Asymptomatic and needed to stay confined to my room for 24hrs from 12 noon on Tuesday. If all testing in that time was satisfactory the health team would allow me to leave my room again for exercise. I received two more visits from the nursing team during Tuesday afternoon and evening and all questions and testing had satisfactory answers and results.

This morning (Wednesday 24 March) I had another visit by the nursing team and again everything seemed satisfactory. The message or assurance from everyone that had spoken to me in the past 24hrs was that the health team would meet at lunchtime and would discuss my results and then advise me whether or not I was still Asymptomatic.

I think that it is important to point out that I also have not had any communication from anyone in the wellbeing team since the Monday morning call. I would have expected that while in room confinement I would have been flagged on the system as someone needing additional wellbeing, care and attention rather than no attention at all.

I waited for the call to come in at lunchtime and it did not. This raised my levels of anxiety because I was concerned about the health team’s assessment of me and also because I was missing the next scheduled exercise session, something that I have valued and utilized at every opportunity. I waited all afternoon and finally decided that I needed to ring the nursing team to find out what was happening. It was now 5.10pm and also the scheduled time for my final outside exercise session for the day. I rang and the nurse looked at the file and said that I was cleared to go outside. Why wasn’t I advised about this almost six hours earlier when it had been determined by the health team?

I organised myself for going outside but the guard at the door of the exercise yard said I was not allowed to go outside unless I had a nurse/guard with me? I explained what I had just been told by the nurse but he said I had to return to my room and sort it out with reception. I do not have concerns about how the guard handled the situation, however I was very embarrassed because other guest were watching and listening.

I rang reception and while on the phone to them a NZDF person knocked at the door and said it was now sorted. I managed to get about 20 minutes outside. 

It’s fair to say that I am really disappointed and upset by this. To be put into room confinement and ultimately forgotten about is negligence to say the least and potentially a breach of contract that was entered into when entering MIQ. I have followed every requirement expected of me while in MIQ and followed every piece of advice and instruction.

I have made a MIQ complaint to MBIE about the Sudima…

No alarm needed this morning because I’m not going anywhere. I still wake at about 6.30am.

I clean myself up (someone told me they don’t like the word ablutions) and breakfast is waiting for me when done. It’s a bagel, juice and yoghurt (same as day 2). Morning tea consists of a banana and a muesli bar.

The menu for lunch and dinner is here too. I’m having a Philly steak roll with jalapeños and salad for lunch and dinner consists of penne chicken carbonara with bacon and parmesan – I’ll keep an open mind on that one. Last night’s BBQ pork ribs was great but just not enough!

I’m still confined to my room. I had a late health check last night and they took my temperature three times because they couldn’t believe how low it was – 35.3°, 35.1° and 35.5°.  I’m due another health check this morning and then a lunchtime review of my ‘condition’ before I may be allowed to leave my room again for exercise.

So how am I coping with this? I’m doing ok but what really surprises me is that the very team that is on site for monitoring the wellbeing of the guests has been silent in the 21 hours since I have been told to remain in my room. The mental health of guests is likely to decline if they are put into a more confining situation so why no addition attention, let alone the reduction that I’m experiencing.

Which tells me that everyone is only good at their job until there is a job to do. I could very easily be critical of the nursing team for giving bad advice on Monday morning and also disappointed in the wellbeing team for their silence.

The biggest concern is that yesterday I was given 30 sleeping tablets (Zopiclone) that I was able to be prescribed from Dunedin and dispensed from a pharmacy in Christchurch. At the time of getting them I was only going to be here for another five nights so why give someone six times more than they could possibly need, especially when they are experiencing extremes of the isolation process. It’s a good thing I’m not rocking in the corner (although that might make a good exercise workout) – but how would they know!

The Day 8 blog discussed the fact that I had a bout of diarrhoea during Sunday night, and that I had phoned this in to the nursing team on Monday morning. I commented on the fact that the person I was speaking to wasn’t sure what the rules were. After she consulted someone else I was told that it was ok for me to participate in outdoor exercise as long as I am wearing my mask and I sanitise my hands. This was yesterday morning (Monday) and the nursing team did extra tests on me later that morning. I went outside the usual three times in the day and for a total 2 hours and 10 minutes. This morning I’m back outside again for another hour before breakfast.

The nursing team make a special call at my door again today, at about 11.30am, and did the same questions and tests as yesterday, with similar results and answers. Everyone seemed happy, jovial even.

Less than 10 minutes later there is a phone call from the team leader of the nursing team, not someone I had dealt with previously (I knew that because he was a bloke). He told me that I was not allowed to leave my room again until cleared too. There was to be a meeting of the health team at lunchtime and they review situations like mine. He said he would ring me once an outcome was determined.

He rang back less than 10 minutes later to tell me that I must stay in my room for the next 24 hrs (until tomorrow’s health checks and reviews). He went on to say that diarrhoea is one of the many symptoms of COVID and therefore I was considered A symptomatic. Apparently I should have been told to stay in my room for 48 hours after the diarrhoea episode (or at least after notifying it).

It’s fair to say that I am really disappointed by all of this, because I have followed every piece of advice and instruction, and it also means that I miss out on several outdoor sessions.

I can now also understand when people say that they get given conflicting information.

It was great to have nine hours of good sleep and I woke up a couple of minutes before my 7am alarm. I always marvel when the clock in my subconscious operates to such an accurate level. The first exercise session for today is at 7.10am, and it is for one hour, so I will need to have my breakfast afterwards.

On my return to the room both my breakfast and my bag of clean laundry are waiting for me. A serving of three pancakes with cream and jam and a smoothie too, morning tea consists of an apple and a muffin. The same as was served on day 3. I’ve can now see a pattern regarding breakfast and it appears that they have seven options on the menu that are rolled out throughout the week and then repeated. I have no problem with that and especially when it is so yummy.

The menu for lunch and dinner is here too. I’m having battered fish and chips with salad for lunch and dinner consists of BBQ pork ribs – it just keeps getting better!

I have been here for more than a week and prior to entering MIQ I didn’t have too much access to advice on how to prepare for two weeks of isolation or ideas of what to bring in with me. I have had enough time to think through what I would say to others and it looks something like this:

Advice for people going into MIQ

• Treat the 14 days MIQ as a form of beneficial retreat such as a health, meditation or joga retreat
• Have a device with you that guarantees access to family, friends and the rest of the outside world
• Write a blog or keep a diary
• Try and keep to a similar sleep timetable to that of either before entering MIQ or what is expected of you after leaving the facility
• Get dressed as soon as you get up, however that goes without saying unless you like opening your door to collect your food while you are still only in your undies
• Open your windows if possible to allow fresh air and sound to come into your room
• Limit or eliminate alcohol for the two weeks
• Take advantage of every opportunity to leave your room for outside/exercise time
• Look for additional opportunities to exercise in your room such as press-ups, sit-ups and prone holds
• Set challenges like doing five press-ups during each ad break on TV, or every time the word Covid is mentioned on TV you have to do a prone hold
• Use specific clothes for exercising in and change into regular day wear afterwards
• For men – shave every day as part of your normal daily routine
• Take into the MIQ facility a small Bluetooth speaker so that music is available that isn’t in the form of headphones. I use a Wonder Boom 2.
• Limit screen time or the binge watching of Netflix etc until situations like bad weather limits your outside time.
• Plan an event that can and will happen after you leave MIQ

The list is only a start and could be much longer with a bit more thought. Each person will have their own way of coping with their stay and I just hope that everyone enjoys it as much as I have so far.

Warning (to me): Writing this post could get me into trouble as it may be considered as both a self-fulfilling prophecy and also breaching confidence. I’m no stranger to controversy and I’ve stayed mute long enough.

Mary MacKillop is a name most readers may not have heard of, or if they have they may not know how she is connected to me. Her correct title is now St Mary of the Cross, because 10 years ago she was canonized a saint in the Catholic Church. Australia and New Zealand’s first and only saint.

Mother Mary MacKillop’s mission was to provide education to all the poor, particularly in rural areas, and in 1898 she came to Port Chalmers and opened St Joseph’s School. In the past a school on the site, St Mary’s School, had struggled to operate successfully and had been closed for the previous six months due to not being able to be staffed. She spent enough time at the school to establish the nuns of her religious order, the Sisters of St Joseph, Josephite’s or the brown Joe’s, before visiting the two other established locations in the South – Temuka and Arrowtown. The first principal of St Joseph’s was a saint and I have followed in her footsteps, unfortunately and most likely down the path of being the last principal of the school. She worshipped and taught in our church building – St Mary Star of the Sea Church. I have worshipped and taught in the very same building, albeit minus the choir loft where she taught the upper standards and the addition of the chancel.

Mother Mary died in 1909 in Sydney and is laid to rest in a vault beside the altar in the Josephite convent memorial chapel in Mount Street, North Sydney.

I have made three pilgrimages to her vault and the first was in 2017. I thought I would receive inspiration or some renewed passion to carry on with the mission. Nothing. The second and third trips to her ‘shrine’ were this year and during the first of these two trips again nothing. This surprised me because I was looking for a sign, a message, a reason to fight for the future of the school.

The final visit to St Mary was two weeks ago, in my final week in Sydney, and everything was different for me. I could genuinely feel her presence. I left that church with a clear and concise message from her. She said don’t fight the closure of the school, you don’t need to. Wow.

When Mother Mary MacKillop was in Port Chalmers she wrote numerous letters of inspiration mostly to the religious communities she had established. In one such letter she wrote that Port Chalmers “was a very pretty place one in which St Joseph has plenty of work for his children to do”. For the record I have to agree about the pretty. Remembering that this was 1898 and there was a relatively large and dedicated Catholic community desperate for a Catholic school in Port Chalmers. Over 120 years later times have changed. The last remnants of the religious order left about 40 years ago and all instruction at the school since then has been by lay staff. The parish has not had a resident priest for over 10 years and liturgy has diminished to twice a week if we are fortunate. If St Mary was to write another letter today about Port Chalmers it would probably say “it is still a very pretty place and the children have done the work required of St Joseph. It is time for new work to be done in other places”.

I left the chapel where St Mary is with absolutely no doubt as to what her message was. So why do I speculate that I’m likely to be the last principal of St Joseph’s?

By Easter time the school roll will be seven students and part of the reason for this has been because of either a careless (or careful) release of information by the bishop and other clergy. Exactly a year ago we had a visit by the bishop who informed me of his intention to review all Dunedin Catholic schools, and he wanted to start this by the end of April. He did not argue when I pointed out that the outcome of the review for us was already obvious considering we are the smallest school in the diocese. Unfortunately Covid19 changed everybody’s lives almost immediately after his visit and things have been on the backburner ever since. Then later in the year a visiting priest (who knew more than he should have) took the opportunity to tell some of our parishioners the news of our demise. When a school community is told their school is closing the roll will only shrink. Would you enrol your child? We will close. It will either be in December if not then by the end of next year.

I have struggled with this throughout the past 12 months, and especially regarding the lack of any diocesan pastoral care or interest in me or my staff’s wellbeing. I am now at peace with the process because “the children have done the work required of St Joseph. It is time for new work to be done in other places”.

Thank you St Mary of the Cross for “seeing a need and doing something about it”.

It’s Monday morning. Unfortunately it wasn’t a good night’s sleep. I woke up in the night with a dodgy tummy which meant spending some unpleasant time on the toilet. They have asked us to look out for various symptoms that might indicate a sign of Covid19, and diarrhoea was one of these. I’m thinking it was more likely to be just a rejection of the fish dinner from last night. I have a choice to make. Do I contact the nursing team and report it? Our first exercise session for our intake is scheduled for 8.20am for one hour. Should I risk it? To be honest I have been very vocal pre-MIQ about why we keep getting outbreaks (and of the poor decisions being made by individuals) and now I know just how tempting it is to do what I choose is best for me.

In the meantime breakfast has arrived and it’s just cornflakes and fruit, probably the best thing for me today. Morning tea consists of a pastry and mandarins. The menu for lunch and dinner is here too. I’m having Thai beef salad for lunch and dinner consists of oven baked chicken Marsala – sounds ok and I just hope my delicate constitution is going to accept it.

I rang the nursing team and go through the “motions” so to speak. I don’t think she really knew what to do. I can’t have been the first person at the Sudima to report this symptom in all the months of MIQ, nor was she able to answer my question about being allowed outside for exercise. She needed to ask someone else? They suggested that it was up to me, as long as hand hygiene was appropriate, and to discuss it further with the nursing team during their scheduled door knock later this morning.

The nursing team have now done additional tests on me including heart rate and blood oxygen level. Everything else appears normal and I can report feeling mildly better.

I’ve already written one blog post this morning and it is still only 6.40am. I’ll do my ablutions and by then breakfast will have arrived. By the way last night’s roast lamb and Tuscan roast potato was great and the quantity huge. Just the way a roast should be.

The first allocated “expedition” for our intake is 8.40am and I should achieve 7.5 km because I walk at just over 6 kilometres per hour – approximately 9 minutes per kilometre. Yes I have too much time on my hands.

Breakfast is a muesli cup with yoghurt and boysenberry and a smoothie.  Morning tea consists of a raspberry donut with sprinkles and a banana.

I’ve added milk to the muesli cup because it was otherwise a bit too dry for my liking. The menu for lunch and dinner is here too. I’m having an open grilled chicken sandwich and crosscut chips for lunch and dinner consists of chimichurri marinated fish and salad – sounds divine again.

When lunch arrives it comes with a daily newsletter. This two-sided A4 blurb offers motivation comment and reminders about how to cope with and get through the 14 days of isolation. It also features jokes, Sudoku and other mindful activities to fill the day. It’s actually becoming something to look forward to.

Useless information to think about:

I calculate that 40% of the people working at the Sudima are NZDF personnel, 40 % are aviation security personnel redeployed from the airport, and 20% are original Sudima staff i.e. management, maintenance and kitchen staff…

In addition to the above there are about four nurses and two wellbeing staff. The nurses knock on the door every two days and the wellbeing women ring the room every alternate day…

I’m only watching about a third of the TV that I thought I was going to need to do. My time is taken up with exercise, eating, writing about exercise and eating, and doing Sudoku type of activities…

The exercise that I have been doing, both in Sydney and while in MIQ, has improved my flexibility and I can now touch my toes for the first time since I had kids…

Lunch was so good that it earned an extra mention in this post.

To be honest it was possibly the best open sandwich I have ever had and I think a number of restaurant chefs could learn a trick or two by being put into MIQ at the Sudima!

Today is Hump Day! At 2.35pm this afternoon I will have been in isolation for exactly 7 days – the halfway point. It seems a long way away at this very moment because I’m typing this at 5.50am which does a little early for a Sunday morning. I did have 7.5 hrs of solid sleep and once I stirred my brain started on the mathematical calculations of time and distance and location and words and more words…

The allocated times for my expeditions today equate to the shortest total time outside since the first 30 hrs here – only 2 hrs and 20 min. The day with the most opportunity for expeditions was Friday – 3 hrs and 10 min so I feel like I’m being short changed. Do I ask for a credit?

The word expedition is a Latin word. Ex as in out and ped as in foot, i.e. out on foot. It is a noun and its meaning is “a journey or excursion undertaken for a specific purpose”. Is that what I’m doing? I suppose so. Is walking around in circles “a specific purpose”? I doubt it. Is walking around in circles to achieve fitness “a specific purpose”? Yes, however most people who walk around in circles are mad. No offense intended towards the insane and I’m sure that everyone I know, and who are reading this, are not mad…are they? Just for clarification I doubt that a certain brother of mine is reading this therefore the previous sentence is likely to be accurate…       

The most memorable dream of last night may have been more of a premonition. I was a teacher at Kavanagh and was a relatively recent arrival, only one or two years there and I recognised former students from St J’s.  This is a real possibility, however I will write a separate blog post about that later today, which will be about a person named Mary MacKillop who I suspect most of you will not have heard of, and in that I will say more about my future or more specifically the future of St J’s.

I will write about the mundane details of Day 7 – the food, the madness of my expeditions and other such things after they have been endured.